Remembering
by RIPBryceLarkin
Summary: Sarah gets injured on a mission and loses some of her memory. What happened and what will it take for her to get it back? Cameos will occur and of course there will be Charah.
1. Awakening

A/N: So this story was inspired by all those memory stories that are written about Chuck and made me think, what if this happened to Sarah? I hope this is different and that you enjoy it. A huge thank you to everyone who encouraged me to go with this idea but especially to Wepdiggy, Sm93starbuck and kayla101blue who went above and beyond. Again hope you enjoy it as this is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic.

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Sarah opened her eyes. She felt groggy and confused as if her mind was only half awake. On top of that her whole body ached and felt stiff. She looked around and didn't recognize her surroundings. Where was she?

"Agent Walker," a man's voice called. "Can you hear me Agent Walker?"

Her mind becoming a little clearer allowed her to now recognize the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor in the background and she realized that she must be in a hospital room.

"Agent Walker, can you hear me?" the man repeated.

She now looked at the man, he was an older fellow who was wearing a white coat and held a clipboard in his hand. He must be the doctor. Sarah tried to respond but her mouth was dry and no words would come so she just nodded.

"My name is Dr. Barns, I have been overseeing your recovery for the past few weeks," the doctor explained. "You were injured on a mission and your body took a tremendous amount damage that required special care."

What had happened? Sarah struggled to remember but only a cloudy fog filled her mind. She tried again but instead of memories she was met with a headache causing her hand to fly to forehead.

"Please Agent Walker, try to relax. As I stated before you were severely injured and we had to use a special treatment to help you. Additionally you've been in a medically induced coma for a week and we've just brought you out." He poured a cup of water and put a straw in it. "Here," he said handing her the cup. "Take this and drink, but only take small sips."

Sarah took the cup in her hand and did as he asked, her parched mouth immediately feeling better as soon as the water hit her lips. "Why was an induced coma necessary?" she croaked. She used her other hand to feel around her head but there were no signs that she had a head trauma much less needed brain surgery.

"To give your body the rest it needed," the doctor repeated. "In time everything will be explained to you Agent Walker, but right now I am going to ask you a few questions in order to better assess the status of your recovery; is that alright?"

Sarah nodded. She knew the routine; if an agent was injured the CIA wanted an immediate report on the damage done and an assessment of how long it would be before that agent could go back into the field, if ever.

"First off, how are you feeling?"

Sarah assessed her own state before answering. "My body feels stiff but I assume that is to be expected if I've been out for a week."

"Any pain? Aches, tremors—"

Sarah shook her head, "No, other than a few sore muscles I feel fine."

The doctor looked at her as if to assess whether or not she was telling the truth. More than once agents have been known to lie about the extent of their injuries in general due to their high pain tolerance and more specifically in order to get back faster to an assignment. Knowing this, however, the agency makes an injured agent go through a series of tests and assessments before being cleared so Sarah figured it was easiest just to stick with the truth. After jotting a few notes down the doctor continued.

"Is the soreness anywhere specific?" he asked without looking up.

"No, it is just a general soreness although some areas feel bruised. My upper arms and parts of my legs feel more tender as well."

"Any internal pain?" he continued.

Sarah replied no again and the doctor stated this was good news. The doctor continued writing notes downs. He then looked up and paused before saying, "What about your head?"

Sarah examined his face. Before when he was asking her questions his features were the normal composed and static expressions of a doctor. However, once he asked that question his eyes seems to light up more and the muscles in his face seem to tighten a little as if he was trying harder to control his expression. Although most people wouldn't notice the change, Sarah did and she knew that this must be a question pertaining directly to her injury and whatever had happened.

"No serious pain. I do have a slight headache and my memory seems blurry. When I try to remember I get a sharp pain in my head." Sarah explained as she focused on the doctor again for any hints or signs about her state. His immediate response surprised her.

"That is to be expected. Currently you are on a medication that -in simple terms- affects your memory. The real question is how much of your memory is affected."

"Why am I on this medication?" Sarah asked cautiously. She was getting more and more alarmed by the vagueness of the doctor's explanations and wondering how severe this situation actually was.

"Agent Walker please—"

Then a thought dawned on her and Sarah couldn't believe she had been so careless. "I want to see your papers," she demanded.

The doctor sighed. CIA certified doctors were required to carry certain paperwork that proved their actual affiliation with the government agency.

Sarah looked at the papers the doctor handed to her. John Barns. Age 47. His medical credentials were there and she noticed that the doctor specialized in neurology. She then saw the CIA seal and accepted that the doctor's certification was authentic. She handed them back to him and then nodded for him to continue.

"As I stated earlier, everything will be explained to you but right now we have to focus on fully determining the extent of your injuries and how far along you are in recovery," the doctor paused to look at Sarah as if waiting for her permission to continue. She gave a slight nod signifying that she understood.

"Alright, I am going to list off missions and events that occurred in descending order and you tell me if you remember or recognize anything. This might cause a headache due to the medication but I'll try to make this process as quick as possible and give you something afterwards to relieve any pain."

Sarah took a deep breath in and out trying to clear her mind of the fog before signaling to the doctor she was ready.

"Okay, let's begin. Do you remember a mission involving the Ring and Julian Collins?"

Sarah tried to recall anything but nothing came to mind.

"How about a New York infiltration mission in Queens?"

"No."

"How about Ted Roark and Orion?" Sarah said no again. None of this was familiar and it might as well have been about someone else's life.

"Ned Rhyerson…Malena Bernal…Mr. Colt…Sasha Banicheck…Jill Roberts," the doctor continued listing off names but they might as well been random numbers.

Sarah didn't recognize any of those people but she didn't get a good feeling when hearing any of them, especially the last one. Her head was now starting to her hurt from trying to remember and she rubbed her temples.

"What about Fulcrum in general?"

Sarah was confused by the name and felt even more like an outsider.

The doctor paused as if a thought just occurred to him. "Agent Walker, do you even know what the Intersect is?" he asked carefully.

Sarah shook her head. The doctor was looking at her in awe and then nodded slowly before writing this down on his clipboard, making it obvious to Sarah that she should apparently know what the doctor is talking about.

"What is the Intersect?" she asked tentatively.

The doctor hesitated before answering, "The Intersect project is the mission you are currently assigned to."

Sarah thought for a moment for a moment before continuing. "How long have I been on this mission?" Sarah asked hoping for some flicker of recognition is be sparked. The concept of time seemed nonexistent to her and Sarah realized that she didn't even know the point in time she is at now.

"You've been on the project for a little over two years. " The doctor looked at her with a sense of sadness, "You started in 2007, it is now 2010."

Sarah nodded numbly as if this all made sense but it didn't. She didn't remember anything to do with an Intersect or all of those missions it entailed. She had no recollection of at least two years of her life, maybe more, and that caused a sense of panic to flood through her. Sarah felt lost and not in control, two emotions an agent, especially one like her, hated to feel.

Sensing her discomfort the doctor decided to move on. "Before the Intersect you had many missions in Europe," he said looking a list of what must have been her records from the CIA. "Do you remember a mission in Spain dealing with a man named Luis Vega?"

Sarah shook her head, "No."

The doctor continued on the list. "A raid in Russia…a information interception in Poland—"

Sarah tried to think but her headache was starting to become painful. All of the sudden Sarah gasped. "I remember," she said eagerly looking at the doctor.

"There was a mission in Budapest; I think it was a consulate dinner." Although the details were a bit fuzzy Sarah felt a surge of relief that she finally remembered something.

"Hungary…Hungary," the doctor said as he scanned the list. "Here, you had a mission there in which you were required to attend an official dinner. The mission took place in 2004,"

Six years ago, Sarah was missing six years of her life right now. She didn't understand why she needed this medicine and frankly she didn't care, she wanted to be back in control. Sarah realized the doctor had been talking to her the whole time but she hadn't heard a word.

"…so I'll take note of this and from there we'll decide how to proceed—"

"Take me off the medication," Sarah said quickly.

"Agent Wa—" the doctor started but was interrupted again.

"You said the memories will come back without the drugs so take me off of them so I can recover them. The only thing that is bothering me is my head and it seems that the only cause of this is the medicine so again take me off," she demanded.

The doctor shook his head, "I'm sorry Agent Walker we cannot do that. First of all it is too dangerous. You know when some one drinks too much of a certain alcohol causing them to be sick and then after that incident just the thought, the mere memory of that liquor makes them feel sick?"

Sarah thought this was the strangest analogy she had ever heard but she nodded, "Yes."

"Well your body went through a great amount of trauma and through blocking your memories we are just being careful," the doctor explained.

"So you gave me an amount that is able to block a range of 6 years from my memory," Sarah asked incredulously.

This for some reason caused the doctor to give a small smile. "Yes," he said simply. Then changing the subject he added. "Even if I wanted to oblige your wishes I cannot as you do not have the final authorization on health decisions concerning you."

"What?" Sarah now troubled.

"When a patient has injuries that include mental ones, the final say in a medical decision goes to whoever you put down, in your case it is Chuck," the doctor said seemingly knowing this person.

"Chuck?" The name didn't sound familiar to her at all. "Does he have a full name or it just Chuck?" she added shortly her patience now wearing thin. Perhaps she would recognize the name from the agency or have some clue to who this person is.

The doctor looked through some notes. "Ah, here it is. His full name is Charles Irving Bartowski. I believe this man is your boyfriend, perhaps even fiancé," the doctor stated.

Sarah's eyes bulged and her mouth was agape, "Excuse me," she said slowly not believing she heard correctly.

The look on Sarah's face probably told the doctor than perhaps he shouldn't have stated that last part but he continued, "Yes, a lot has happened over the years and we are working hard to get you back to your current life." The doctor paused looking at her, "Agent Walker—" he stated now seeming alarmed.

Fiancé. Fiancé. That idea was so foreign to Sarah that she didn't even know how to wrap her mind around it. Was this a real engagement? A cover? In the midst of her thoughts she became dimly aware that the doctor was calling her name, "Hmm?" she responded.

"I can see that you've had a long day and you've had a lot to take in. You have many visitors that have been waiting to see you so perhaps tomorrow you can see one of them." At the fear starting to creep into her eyes the doctor quickly reassured her, "Don't worry as your visitor will be someone you are already familiar with."

Sarah started to protest, she wanted to know everything and it was her right to know whom this man was and what was really going on. However the doctor cut her off as he walked over to her IV stand.

"Just relax Agent Walker," he said as in inserted some medication into her IV. "You need rest, you've been through a lot."

Immediately she started feeling the effects of the drug and the lull of sleep was beckoning her. Sarah knew there was something the doctor wasn't telling her and her last thought before the darkness took hold was maybe it was better that she didn't remember.

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A/N: Thank you for reading this and please review to let me know you're thoughts. I mean you know you want to, you can't deny it so make both of us happy, well me ecstatic, and do so. Coming up next we have a visit from an old friend, who could it be!?


	2. An Old Friend

A/N: Thank you for all the positive feedback I've received so far and hope you all continue to enjoy the story. A special thank you to Wepdiggy for the beta and in general for being awesome.

Also in case it wasn't clear I don't own Chuck.

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"_Sarah…"_

_Sarah heard a man calling her name but she couldn't place the voice…everything was fuzzy…_

"Agent Walker," the nurse called her name as she shook Sarah's shoulder.

Sarah woke up with a start. She was breathing heavily and her head was killing her. The machine beside her was beeping and she could see that the nurse was standing beside the monitors.

"I'm sorry I woke you but you were thrashing a little in your sleep and your heart rate spiked way up," the nurse explained. "Try to relax, but it should go back down now that you are awake. Either way, we'll continue to monitor it. How are you feeling this morning?"

Sarah could feel her heart getting back to normal and she took a deep calming breath. "My head hurts, but everything else seems the same."

The nurse nodded and jotted some notes down on Sarah's file. "I'll give you some medication for your head. Is everything else alright?"

Sarah looked at her. No, she thought, nothing was alright; the reality of what was going on crashed back into her. She was missing years of her life and nothing seemed right.

"I'm sure you are confused and have a lot of questions," the nurse said as if reading Sarah's thoughts. "Some visitors have been waiting to see you. Should I tell them you're awake?"

_What visitors_, Sarah wondered and her first thought went to this Chuck. She did not think she was ready for that visit as she was still freaked out about what the relationship really entailed or what he really was to her.

"Is there perhaps another CIA agent that you could send in to explain the situation?" Sarah asked. She figured that a fellow agent was probably waiting in order to debrief her on what the situation was, especially when there was much room for error thanks to her current memory loss. For all she knew Director Graham himself was waiting for her.

"Sure, I'll check and send them if they are waiting. Anything else?"

Sarah shook her head and thanked the nurse who proceeded to go in search of Sarah's request. It wasn't long before she heard the sound of high heels clicking on the tile coming down the hallway. Sarah turned her head and she heard the door opening.

"You know, if you are going to be hospitalized you can at least be somewhere more convenient for me," Carina said smiling at Sarah as she walked in the room.

"Carina," Sarah breathed, bewildered and yet pleased to see a familiar face. "What are you doing here?"

"Why, not overjoyed to see me?" Carina said now taking the seat across from Sarah's hospital bed.

Sarah rolled her eyes. This was one of the negatives about Carina. She liked to joke and more so she liked to provoke people, especially Sarah. Even worse she knew how to do so. "I meant why are you here, you aren't even CIA."

"Well I got news that you were injured and practically on your deathbed so I flew over," Carina stated.

"I didn't know you cared so much," Sarah quipped, although the information shook her. Other than her head she felt fine and there seemed to be no visual injuries to indicate she was ever in such a state. Could she really have made that quick of a recovery?

"I had nothing better to do," Carina corrected. "And it was Chuck who called."

All plans of asking Carina about her injuries disappeared when she mentioned that name. "You know Chuck?" Sarah asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Carina said suggestively with a smirk on her face. The way she said it made it seem like Chuck had fallen prey to Carina's "friendly greetings" like so many before him, but she wasn't giving anything away.

"Are you two more than just 'friends'?" Sarah probed. Perhaps Chuck was just another agent.

"You're lucky I made a promise to behave." Carina sighed and then proudly stated, "In answer to your question no, I have not slept with Chuck."

Sarah, however, knew there was more than her friend was letting on. "You mean to tell me you've never tried seducing Chuck who I assume is a living, breathing male?" she asked incredulously. There was no way Chuck was not a subject to seduction if you added the fact that Sarah herself might actually want this guy.

Carina shot daggers at Sarah. "No I said I never slept with him, " she replied testily. "If you must know your boy toy rejected me and ruined what would have been a perfect record."

Sarah was beyond shocked. "He rejected you?" No man was able to resist Carina and there was a reason she was the best in terms of seduction.

"Yes," Carina said bitterly but then her voice softened, "He did it because he didn't want to hurt you in any way."

Sarah was speechless. She wondered if this guy really rejected Carina for her sake or he had another purpose. Sarah still didn't know much about this guy other than that Carina seemed to like him, but that isn't saying much. Perhaps her friend had an ulterior motive coming here, as well since it wasn't in Carina's nature to just to drop by out of the goodness of her heart.

"So really why are you here Carina?" Sarah asked.

Carina rolled her eyes. "I told you, and just so you know I can be nice."

Sarah laughed and in return received a deathly stare from her friend.

"What does it matter anyway Sarah? Are you expecting someone else, your man perhaps?" Carina said with a smirk.

"No, I thought maybe Graham might be here," she confided.

Carina seemed to stiffen and after a moment she looked at Sarah. "Graham died a few years ago Sarah, I'm sorry."

Sarah nodded slowly as the news sunk in. Graham was the one who discovered her, the one who gave her the opportunity to lead a life rather than waste it doing petty cons. "How did he die?"

Carina shrugged. "I'm sorry I don't really know other than it was in the line of duty."

Sarah took a deep breath. Although she was saddened by the news, she knew that death was the unfortunate risk and something that regrettably happened often prematurely for those in her line of work. Graham had served his country well and hopefully died knowing that.

"I guess a lot has happened over the years," Sarah sighed. "Apparently I'm engaged."

"You're engaged?" Carina asked seeming pleasantly surprised.

Sarah glared at Carina. "Oh right, you wouldn't know," Carina said apologetically. "I mean it wouldn't surprise me if you were."

Sarah was astonished. "It wouldn't?"

"Sarah, you are like a half a step away from giving it all up and being Betty freaking Crocker for this guy."

Sarah was silent. It wasn't the idea of falling in love that really shocked her as much as the rest of it. She knew she could be a passionate person, a trait that could serve as either a great motivator, as past missions have proven, or hindrance, as some past cons have taught her. However, it is one thing to feel something for someone and another to change your world for them. For so long Sarah had been forced to rely on only herself that the thought of not only trusting someone and letting them in but also shifting her world for theirs seemed so out of character, and beyond her understanding. She wondered how much of the situation Carina truly did know and Sarah was determined to find out.

"So tell me, where did I meet this Chuck? Work?" she probed.

"You could say that," Carina said in a vague, nonchalant manner.

"So he is another agent?" Sarah asked trying for once to get a clear answer.

A small smile appeared on Carina's lips. "No he isn't an agent."

The answer resulted in a look of horror on Sarah's face. She took a shaky breath before asking what she hoped was not the case. "A civilian?"

"Not a civilian," Carina said as the smile continued to grow.

Sarah was now puzzled and pissed at Carina for playing coy. "Well if he isn't an agent and not a civilian what else can he be?" she snapped.

Carina was practically beaming and laughed before sobering up enough to speak. "Oh Sarah, you my friend fell in love with your asset."

Sarah was mollified and then she looked at Carina who was smiling at her. She shook her head at her nativity and not realizing the truth sooner. "Ha-ha, very funny Carina. I admit you almost had me going there."

"You think I'm joking?" Carina leaned her head in her hand and gave Sarah a smile full of pity. She sighed, "I promise I'm not kidding you."

"You're telling me I fell in love with my asset named Chuck," Sarah spit out as if the words love and asset were poisonous. The name Chuck now also sort of irked her. What kind of parent names their kid Chuck, sadists?

"Hey don't be mean…" Carina snapped but then stopped abruptly stopped herself from going further as if shocked at her own defense of him.

Sarah's eyes widened at her friend and her anger dissipated. She had never seen this side of Carina before. Carina was always the first one to joke and have fun. Her impulsive nature and penchant for taking risks brought her across as the girl who did things her own way, consequences be damned. However, instead of the Carina she knew, all of a sudden Sarah was getting a serious, and dare she say even good side that she honestly had no idea how to process, so Sarah simply asked.

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

"You're crazy you know," Carina shook her head and then added, "Look the nerd has helped me out a time or two, what can I say. I swear on you bailing me out in Pakistan that I'm not messing around with you."

"So to sum up you're legitimately telling me that the girl," she said pointing at herself for emphasis, "who wouldn't even go into the Bon Temps mansion because it was a breach of protocol, broke the number one rule, perhaps even the only real rule, that they teach you at the Farm for none other than my asset. Is that correct?" Sarah couldn't help but be stubborn as the situation was so far from what Sarah envisioned in her future that she couldn't just accept it as true.

Carina nodded her head but then paused for a moment seeming surprised. "You remember the mission involving the Bon Temps place?"

Sarah thought about it and nodded. "Yeah, it was a standard get in, grab the goods and get out. Why?"

"I thought you could only remember as early as the Hungary mission, but that mission was after that, right before you were paired with Bryce," Carina said with a hint of sadness.

"Who?" Sarah asked.

Carina's mouth went slack. "Bryce…Bryce Larkin, CIA agent." However, Sarah showed no signs of recognition so she added, "Handsome, brown hair and blue eyes. Ex-partner." Carina then paused before adding, "Ex-boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend!?" Sarah shouted. "I dated another guy from work?" She could not believe her future self and apparent lack of self-control. Although this guy sounded right up her alley, dating partners was frowned upon and Sarah followed the rules. Well at least that is what she thought but she had surely proved herself wrong.

"You know you're fun when you're agitated," Carina said smiling at her. "And technically Bryce was before Chuck, what can I say you like to get really 'involved' with your work."

Sarah, however, did not look amused and glared at Carina. "How long did we date?"

"A couple years," Carina replied.

"Did I love this guy too?" Sarah muttered.

Even though the question was rhetorical Carina decided to answer it. "You loved Bryce in a way that was easy and comfortable for you. You never had to sacrifice or reveal too much as he was an agent and understood. He accepted the surface type of relationship you offered, and for the most part that is really all us agents are able to offer." After a moment Carina softly added, "He died not too long ago."

Sarah waited for some sadness or guilt that she knew should come but none did. She had no recollection of this man she apparently loved and held no memories of their times together. She felt nothing, not emptiness or a loss, just nothing. Sarah didn't know what to say, as she didn't know how to respond so instead she merely remained quiet.

Carina finally broke the silence. "Anyway that is all in the past as you're with Chuck now, who by the way is not technically an asset anymore as he is more like an agent with analyst abilities or maybe an asset agent combo…you know what never mind, he is just Chuck."

"Just Chuck? Is that a good thing?" Sarah pondered.

Carina thought for moment before saying, "He's not like us."

"Well thanks Carina, that helps out a lot," Sarah remarked sarcastically.

"I don't know how to describe it, I guess it's like— and if you tell Chuckles that I said any of this I will hurt you—"

Sarah gave a look that said she'd like to see her try but she nodded wanting her friend to continue.

"Chuck is someone who always sees the good in things even after so much bad has occurred. Although people have often judged him, myself included, he never judges others and often loves without abandon. He is fiercely loyal and though he'll say he isn't good at much, I've never seen him not be able to do something that he's put his mind to." Carina paused a moment before adding, "And the sex is fantastic."

Sarah gave a small laugh but then was silent a long time before saying, "Wow, umm that was quite a speech."

Carina smiled. "Thanks, it's from you as it is more or less what you told me when I asked you why you loved him. I might have added a line at the end."

Sarah processed this information and after several long moments she asked, "Do you think I'm really in love with him?"

"I admit at first I thought you were insane. Hell, I still think you are crazy and don't really understand it but I know that what you have with him is different, it's special," Carina reassured.

"Wow and here I thought you couldn't be a romantic," Sarah teased before looking at her friend in earnest, "Thank you."

Carina just nodded and both women turned towards the door when they heard it open and a nurse entered.

"Sorry to interrupt but I was coming to take Agent Walker to her first physical therapy session," the nurse stated.

Sarah gave a sigh of relief. Exercise was just what she needed to clear head as she now had a lot to think about.

"Well then I'm going back to my hotel but if you need anything, seriously call me Sarah," Carina told her.

"What happened to leaving people to fend for themselves," Sarah joked.

Carina smiled. "I guess you finally rubbed off on me and don't say I never helped you." She started for the door but then turned around to add, "Stop worrying so much, you're in good hands."

With that Carina left, leaving Sarah with the nurse. As the nurse proceeded to help Sarah in a wheelchair Sarah said, "I was told to let someone know of any changes and earlier I remember something that was more recent than the one in 2004. It was a mission in France in 2005." Sarah then informed the nurse of what she remembered as well as what she had no recollection of.

"But nothing about the assignment you're on currently?" the nurse clarified after Sarah was finished.

Sarah shook her head and once again her suspicions were raised that there was something they weren't telling her. The nurse told her to wait in the room while she notified the doctor of what Sarah had told her.

However, the agent in Sarah kicked in and after the nurse left Sarah wheeled herself into the hall where she spotted the nurse and doctor. Sarah could hear the conversation.

"Does she remember anything about the Intersect?" the doctor asked.

"No, just that random mission. Nothing about Agent Larkin or anything of that matter," the nurse replied.

The conversation was becoming less audible as they were walking away but the last thing Sarah heard before it was out of earshot was the doctor saying, "Good."

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A/N: Okay so it was a little mean to leave it there but I couldn't help myself. Please leave me a review as I really appreciate your feedback. Tell me your thoughts, dislikes, likes, suggestions, hopes and dreams…okay maybe not so much the last two but honestly if you want to tell me then I'll listen. In general I just like hearing from you (I'm a chatty kind of person) so click that button and type away. Coming up Sarah learns more about her life with Chuck…


	3. Old Habits Die Hard

A/N: These past weeks have been hectic but I finally found time to write this chapter. Thank you for the amazing response I got from the last chapter, it was much appreciated. In response to those who were wondering, Chuck is coming…eventually. Thanks also to Wepdiggy who is just a great guy all around and always there to help out.

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Sarah had just completed her first physical therapy session and was in the shower. She had desperately needed that exercise in order to clear her head and to feel somewhat like herself again. All Sarah wanted was a tiny portion of control and understanding in a world that she felt she was wandering blind in.

She gripped the handlebar in the shower to steady herself as her muscles were still sore and stiff after being neglected for so long. The nurse had asked if she wanted assistance but Sarah declined; she needed this time to process everything. As the water cascaded over her, Sarah, for the first time since this whirlwind began, took a moment to pause and collect herself. No longer could she be the Sarah Walker who is trying figure out her life; right now she needed to be Sarah Walker, CIA agent.

Her thoughts drifted back to the conversation she overheard in the hallway. The doctor seemed intent on wanting to keep the memories of her recent involvement with the Intersect Project away from Sarah. Perhaps she came across some information she wasn't supposed to or crossed some line causing the CIA to want to eliminate her. The latter wouldn't surprise her, as apparently she was all about breaking the rules these days.

She then thought for a moment that perhaps she really could be in danger and in enemy hands. However, why then would Carina have been there unless she had turned traitor? Sarah shook her head; the scenario didn't make sense even as she was thinking about it.

Sarah huffed in frustration. She tried to remember what happened, a clue or anything that could help her out. Sarah forced herself to concentrate on remembering but then a sharp pain in her head caused her to cry out and stop. She had to grip the handlebar to prevent herself from collapsing and when she finally caught her breath, she looked down only to find that the water was red.

Sarah cursed and quickly turned off the shower. She grabbed a towel to wrap around her and then carefully made her way to a mirror to see where she was bleeding. She realized it was her nose that had started to bleed though at this point it had stopped. Sarah wiped the blood off her face and the pain was finally subsiding.

_What was going on?_ The truth of matter is she didn't have a clue but she knew who the true source of all her problems was: Chuck.

Chuck was the answer to figuring out everything. She thought about what Carina said to her about him, or more specifically had repeated from what Sarah herself had said to Carina at one point in the past. She hadn't merely said 'he's a good guy' but instead had given a little speech about why she loved him. Worse yet, the speech didn't even seem like something she would rehearse for a cover but rather something real and true.

Sarah cursed again. She felt like she was in over her head and she was annoyed to no end about the situation she found herself in. More so, Sarah was pissed that this guy appeared to be the center figure in apparently all aspects of her life and wasn't even around. For someone who may or may not be her fiancé, he certainly hadn't bothered to visit her since she had been awake. Granted it was only the second day but still a call wouldn't be too much to ask for.

Sarah groaned. _Why do I even care?_ Her curiosity was getting the better of her and she needed to focus. She has never failed a mission and she doesn't plan on it now; she would get her answers.

Sarah found the clothes the nurse had given her. The nurse had said they were left for her by somebody but didn't know exactly who. _Once again more mystery is added into my life._ Sarah got dressed and then decided to go in search of her nurse. Before she left she took one last glance in the mirror as if to reassure herself that she was the same person she knows. Sarah then walked to the hallway but was stopped before she even started looking.

"Sarah!" a voice from behind called out.

She turned around to find herself looking at an attractive blonde haired, blue-eyed man of athletic build. She didn't know how, but for some reason she seemed to know this man was not Chuck. However, the young man did appear to know her yet all Sarah could do was stare back at him.

"Do I know you?" Sarah asked cautiously.

"I'm Devon Woodcomb," he said smiling at her before finally clarifying, "Chuck's brother-in-law."

Sarah's eyes narrowed. _Chuck, of course._ Sarah then started to say why she didn't remember this man and apologize but was stopped with a shake of Devon's head.

"Don't sweat it Sarah. I'm just glad to see you're doing better. And I see you got the clothes we left for you, awesome," he said.

"Thank you, that was, uh, very kind of you," Sarah said awkwardly. She didn't know how to really talk to Devon as she didn't know how much he knew. She didn't even know if they were close or really knew each other in the present. Then, as if sensing her uneasiness, Devon smiled at her.

"Hey, you are like family Sarah and we take care of each other," he reassured. "Plus Chuck asked us to check up on you."

The agent in her was processing the 'us' and 'family' part of the statement but one thought was pushing itself above the rest. _Is Chuck here?_

Sarah hadn't even realized she asked the question out loud until Devon replied, "No, he is off doing his thing you know, but I know he'd rather be here than anywhere else."

No, she didn't know what Chuck's 'thing' was and she was seriously starting to question whatever it was she and him are. "Really Devon, or you just saying that for my benefit?" she asked dubiously.

Devon laughed. "Sarah, I promise you that if my man Chuck could be here right now he would. You just are going to have to take my word for it."

Sarah didn't know if she believed him or not, but for some reason after she heard those words she felt better.

"Why don't I help you back to your room and we'll meet up with Ellie, Chuck's sister," Devon suggested.

As curious as Sarah was to meet Chuck's sister in order to garner more information about him, she wasn't too keen on spending time with what to her were complete strangers. Sarah didn't know what her story was with them or if she even had a story, but she felt as if she was walking a thin line as it was. Once again Devon seems to recognize her apprehension and reassured her.

"Look Sarah, I know you don't 'know' us but I promise we are here to help you. Also Ellie cooked you something herself so do me a favor and voluntarily come with me," Devon said.

Sarah inwardly laughed at his belief that he could actually force her to do something but refrained from saying anything aloud. She decided to comply with Devon's wish as perhaps Ellie did know something that could help her. Together they walked back towards Sarah's room.

"Sarah!" a woman, who Sarah assumed was Ellie, squealed. She was an attractive woman with brown hair and eyes. Ellie came towards them and abruptly stopped in front of them. Her hands were clasped together and Ellie was looking like she was using all the self-control she had not to wrap her arms around to squeeze the life out of Sarah.

"I'm sorry I'm just so happy to see you; you scared us to death," Ellie said, seeming as if she was on the verge of tears.

Sarah didn't even know the woman and she felt guilty. She wasn't used to people being concerned about her due the fact they legitimately cared. Even in her childhood, Sarah sometimes felt as if her dad viewed her more as an asset to make some cons easier than a daughter.

"No, I'm fine. Really," Sarah reassured. She didn't want Ellie to cry and thankfully a pager went off to interrupt the awkward moment.

"Sorry babe," Devon said as he looked at the pager. "It's the hospital so I've got to go."

He kissed Ellie goodbye and then before Sarah could protest he quickly hugged her. Sarah could have sworn she saw a flash of jealously and annoyance in Ellie's eyes at her husband's actions but Ellie remained silent. It was after Devon left that Sarah felt the awkward silence fall over them once again.

"Oh my god Sarah," Ellie breathed. She looked alarmed and immediately Sarah's instincts kicked in causing her to quickly scan the hallway for signs of danger. "What happened to your nose?"

Sarah then put her fingers to her nose and realized it was bleeding again.

"Come on." Before Sarah knew what was happening Ellie grabbed her hand and led her back to her hospital room. Ellie then started to open up various drawers and cabinets apparently on a mission to find something. When she found the desired object and told Sarah to sit down.

"Don't worry," Ellie said as she ripped open a packet of what seemed to be gauze. "I'm a doctor."

"You're a doctor?" Sarah asked as she tilted her head back for Ellie.

"Yeah," Ellie replied but appeared to be only half listening as she concentrated on cleaning Sarah up. "What caused this Sarah?"

Sarah hesitated before deciding to continue. "I think it is the medication they have me on."

"Your medication caused this?" Ellie asked in disbelief.

"Why aren't you my doctor? I mean wouldn't Chuck bring me to you if I was injured?" Sarah challenged ignoring Ellie's question.

Ellie shrugged. "You needed more expertise than I could provide and I'm sure Chuck knew what he was doing when he brought you here."

Sarah looked away before looking Ellie in the eyes. "Do you trust the doctors here?"

"Sarah did something happen?" Ellie asked concerned.

Sarah shook her head. She started to speak but then shut her mouth as she didn't really know what to say to Ellie.

"Look Sarah, I know this situation isn't easy for you but Chuck brought you here for a reason. I trust Chuck," Ellie said earnestly.

The way Ellie said that last line was so sincere and one look in her eyes told Sarah that Ellie had absolute faith and trust in her brother. Sarah had a feeling that if there was a pit of fire in front of Ellie and Chuck told her to walk straight she would.

This concept befuddled Sarah. She couldn't help but remember what her dad used to tell her and what the CIA reinforced. At the end of the day the only person you can really trust is yourself. Sarah, however, couldn't help but wistfully wonder what it would be like to have that kind of faith in someone.

"There," Ellie said with a satisfied look on her face. "All cleaned up." She went to throw out the bloody gauze and then wash her hands. She then pulled out some containers from the bag she had brought.

"Why don't we eat?" Ellie suggested. She handed Sarah a fork and knife along with a plastic container that appeared to have ravioli inside of it. Ellie brought up a chair next to Sarah's bed while Sarah herself was sitting cross-legged on it. She looked at Sarah expectedly and Sarah took a bite.

"Oh my—" Sarah mumbled. The food was so good and Sarah couldn't remember the last time she had a home cooked meal. "Ellie this is delicious," Sarah exclaimed as she took another bite.

Ellie smiled at her. "I'm glad you like it."

They ate in silence for a few moments before Ellie spoke up again. "Look Sarah I've been warned by my brother not to overwhelm you as I can get emotional sometimes but if you have any questions or need anything don't be afraid to ask."

Sarah thought about it for a moment. She honestly didn't think Ellie knew anything about her injuries or what was going on so she thought she'd stick the other topic that bothered Sarah. For some reason Sarah didn't want people to know how curious she was about this guy so in a nonchalant tone she asked, "Can you tell me about your brother a bit?"

Ellie beamed as soon as those words came out of Sarah's mouth. When Ellie started telling Sarah about Chuck starting with their childhood it became clear to Sarah. Chuck wasn't just a brother but rather such an integral person in Ellie's life, their lives so woven together. The look in Ellie's eyes when she talked about her brother showed she spoke nothing but the truth and her love for her brother was unshakable.

As Ellie told Sarah different stories Sarah quickly learned that Chuck was the type of person who always puts others before himself and would do anything for those he loves. Sarah had the feeling Ellie was just as kind and open hearted as her brother though if her being here instead of at work was any indication.

Ellie also seemed to like her a lot but Sarah couldn't help but wonder what version of her Ellie liked? She has played so many different parts throughout her life that Sarah honestly felt safer using a cover than the truth. Perhaps Ellie was like Chuck in that she just liked everyone, however, this thought was quickly proven wrong with the mention of a Jill.

"…I mean she broke his heart causing him to lose all his confidence and waste years doing something so beneath his potential," Ellie said in disgust. "I'm sorry I just hate her for what she did but anyway once you showed up it all changed."

"How so?" Sarah asked caving into her curiosity.

Ellie smiled at her. "To put it simply you made him happier than I've ever seen him."

Ellie talked about her as if she was some kind of savior and Sarah felt guilty. Again she wondered how many lies she has told Ellie and now if Chuck himself was part of that web of deceit. Carina seemed to stress that the relationship between her and Chuck was real, and even suggested that Chuck had become someone Sarah actually was herself with. Sarah wondered which was better though, lying to the man who may actually be her fiancé or actually having him know the truth. She was leaning towards the first one.

"Ellie this might sound awkward to ask but are Chuck and I engaged?" Sarah craved for something real to grasp about the relationship.

"What!? You better not be as I know nothing about it," Ellie chided. Sarah took a relaxing breath, as surely Ellie would have known if they were. Ellie then paused and appeared to think about.

"Honestly Sarah you could be. You two have never done things the normal way and are pretty private, which I unfortunately have had to accept," Ellie saying the last part with a hint of annoyance.

Sarah groaned inwardly and started to freak out a bit. Ellie must have realized she was overwhelming Sarah as she looked guilty and quickly added, "Sarah I just said might calm down. Look either way it can't be worse than having your first wedding ruined by the pyrotechnics of a band named Jeffster," Ellie said trying to make it better.

"Though I did get my dream wedding on the beach in the end," Ellie admitted.

A memory of a beach wedding came to Sarah but was fuzzy. "Were the bridesmaid dresses blue Ellie?"

"Yeah," Ellie replied and then her eyes widen as she just caught on. "Sarah do you remember the wedding?"

"I think I remember parts of it but it is all blurry." Sarah didn't want to try to remember harder as she knew how that worked earlier.

"Well you were a bridesmaid in the wedding so I'd hope you didn't forget it all," Ellie joked.

Sarah was overwhelmed by that knowledge. She realized that Devon wasn't joking before when he said she was like family. Sarah didn't really know how to react to this, as she didn't even really know what having a family meant. Once again Sarah found herself wishing she had her memories back. Then an idea struck her.

"Ellie do you have a photo of Chuck?" Perhaps a visual image would help her remember.

"No, I don't," Ellie lamented. "They are really strict about not having any devices that can take photographs here. Plus they'd probably take mine away anyway as Chuck is like the most important government asset."

Sarah took solace in what Ellie said as it meant that despite some romantic mishaps, Sarah was still a top agent and obviously trusted enough to handle the government's most important asset. _Well until I became involved with him_, she thought sourly. She then realized the most important part in what Ellie said; that she knew of Chuck's involvement with the government meaning she probably knew some truth about Sarah. Sarah decided to play it safe.

"How much do you know Ellie?"

To Sarah's surprise Ellie laughed. "Relax Sarah, I know that you are an agent and although I was a little freaked…okay that is understatement, but I knew he was fine if he was with you. You made me believe I had nothing to worry about as I know you'd do anything to protect my brother. And to be honest I was a little relieved."

Would she really do anything to keep this guy safe? Sarah raised her eyebrow at this.

"Why were you relieved?"

"Because everything finally made sense. I finally got why it was 'complicated' and why you both were reluctant to be together despite your obvious feelings for one another. I mean you were always pushing each other away and yet never really moving on, and it drove me crazy! Then I found out that it was against the rules to be together or it became too dangerous or someone new would show up… You two could never catch a break or when you did you never seemed to be on the same page," Ellie ranted.

Sarah groaned, this relationship sounded real. "And now we are?" Sarah asked though she was afraid of the answer.

Ellie proudly smiled. "Yes, well fortunately it all worked out. You both came to your senses and now you couldn't be happier."

Also I always thought you were way too smart to be working with hot dogs and fro yo," Ellie said putting her hands up on defense. "Just saying."

"The Wienerlicious, I worked with a guy named Scooter who I hated." Sarah remembered working there and the ridiculous outfit she was forced to wear, too. However, nothing else really came to mind.

"Sarah you remember! That's great, I think your memory is slowly coming back as that wasn't too long ago. See nothing to worry about."

Sarah faked a smile and although she was happy that she was remembering recent events, she couldn't help but think every time she took a step forward, she was taking two steps back as well. She still remembered nothing of her assignment or anything about Chuck.

"I'm sorry Sarah," Ellie said as she looked at the time. "I have to go as my shift starts soon."

Ellie started cleaning up and Sarah handed her the container and fork. "Thank you for the lunch Ellie, I really appreciated it."

"Of course Sarah and I hope you realize that you are in good hands, and that you can trust us. If you need anything the hospital knows how to reach me."

Sarah smiled and nodded. Although she was sure Ellie wanted to hug her, instead she squeezed her hand and got up to leave. As the footsteps receded down the hallway Sarah took out the item she had stashed away. She looked at the knife she'd concealed and gave it a quick familiar toss in her hand. As much as she wanted to trust Ellie, Sarah had a hard time letting go of the rule she's lived by for so long. As they say, old habits die hard.

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A/N: Well I like hearing from you and your thoughts on the chapter so please review. Even if you have nothing really to say I still like it. Coming up next I'm trying something a little different with another visitor for Sarah. Stay tuned…


	4. The Lies That Bind

A/N: I must apologize for taking so long to update. I've had considerably less time to myself and so this update took a lot longer than planned but it is a long chapter so maybe that makes up for it. I must thank **Wepdiggy** for all his help. A lot people might not like him due to his angst fic but that fic only makes me like him more. Also a thank you to **truthseekr **for catching an error for me last time around, it is much appreciated. Anyway I tried a little something different in this chapter and I hope you enjoy.

Hours after Ellie had left, Sarah remained in her bed processing her thoughts. She twirled the knife in her hand; the action soothed her and gave her some false sense of power in the situation. Ellie had looked at her as if she was Chuck's savior, steering him towards his unrealized yet obtainable future and away from the clutches of that inferior life that had threatened to consume him. Ellie exuded the same trust and unwavering faith for her as she did her own brother. Sarah was the knight on the white horse. But didn't Ellie know that it was all a fallacy; that the shininess the armor had was just a distraction from the deceit underneath? Her worst fear, she thought was that, in the end it wasn't her doing the deceiving but rather she was the victim. That the whole thing was a lie and that Sarah, a deceiver with so many faces, had finally met her match in this Chuck. As much as she would like to trust these people and what they said, Sarah knew that nothing is ever quite as it seems.

All of a sudden her thoughts were interrupted as she heard the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. Visiting hours were over and the nurse had already come to check up on her so whoever was in the hall was most likely not supposed to be there. Sarah's grip tightened on the knife as she readied herself for any possibility. She watched as the door to her room slowly opened and saw a shadowy figure slowly enter through the door. Sarah was about let the knife sail from her hand but had to abruptly stop herself when the figure turned on the lights and had turned around to face her.

"Dad?" Sarah gasped. She was shocked to see her father standing before her as she couldn't remember the last time she had seen him.

"Hello darlin'." He gave her a small smile and then walked over to give her a quick kiss on her forehead before taking a seat in front of her bed. As she looked at her father he seemed different to her and it wasn't until he sat down that she realized what exactly had changed in her father. Gone was that usual spark he always carried around with him, that false confidence that he could do whatever he wanted without serious consequences. Now he seemed more worn out, as if the years of lies and broken promises had finally caught up to him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. The question came out harsher than Sarah intended it to but she couldn't help it. The relationship between her and her father was complicated to say the least. At a young age she was forced to trade in her childhood and innocence for fake names and deceit due to her father's chosen profession, both which came at a price. Sarah remembered her dad used to say that they were all each other had and could trust, it was them against the world. She never realized until now how much that affected her.

In the CIA being wary of one's surroundings and shutting out emotions was an asset, however, as the prospect of a real life in what she termed as the "normal world" was being dangled in front of her, Sarah couldn't help but wonder if she had what was necessary to survive. The thought made her angry with her father for his inability to just provide some semblance of a normal life, to put down his scheming ways and simply be there for his daughter. However, Sarah learned long ago that disappointment was a common theme with him, and despite all of this, the fact remained that he was still her father. No matter how much the CIA altered and molded her, they couldn't ever erase that fact. So as foolish as she knew it was, a part of Sarah still hoped that her father was here for her.

"I was worried about you," he replied sincerely as if reading her thoughts. He did truly look concerned and once again Sarah found herself in the old pattern of forgetting all of the disappointing memories with her father. Instead she decided to only focus on the fact he was here for her.

"I'm fine," Sarah reassured. "Well other than the fact that I really can't remember most of what has recently happened in my life."

"Yeah Charlie told me about that," her father empathized.

"You _know_ Chuck?" Sarah exclaimed. The fact that she introduced her father to Chuck, or rather Chuck to her father, spoke volumes. When Sarah joined the CIA she made a promise to herself to cut all ties from the girl that was Jenny Burton, Katie O'Connell, and the numerous other aliases she pretended to be. So the knowledge that Sarah had bridged those two worlds together, that she trusted someone to know her true past boggled her. However, Sarah wondered whether or not she purposely had these two men in her life meet or whether bad luck had just struck forcing to unveil her background to Chuck. Given her current situation, she thought, it was probably the latter.

Jack nodded and admitted, "He was the one who called me in the first place."

"Did he also tell you that he is the reason I can't remember anything?" Sarah quickly snapped.

Jack gave a small laugh. "Angel hair I know you don't remember but trust me when I say that the kid wants nothing but the best for you. I'm sure there is a reason."

Sarah raised her eyebrows in challenge to his statement. "Alright," he conceded. "I can't think of a reason off the top of my head but trust me when I say Charlie would never hurt you."

"Right I forgot you two are best buds," Sarah remarked sarcastically.

"Hey, I would never let you be with a guy if I didn't think he was worthy of you," her father asserted.

"So you think he's a good guy?" Sarah asked.

"Darlin' when we first met I had given him $10 million that he could have walked away with and instead he came back for you. I _know_ he loves you," he stressed.

Once again Sarah was conflicted on what to feel with this knowledge. On one hand she should be relieved, even thrilled, that she had a relationship that many go through their whole searching for. However, it scared her to no end on how she got to this point and how her world could have completely changed in a span of a few years. As if sensing her inner conflict, her father broke the silence.

"You know sometimes stuff just happens. You don't want it to, you don't mean for it to but it just does." Silence settled over them again as they both thought about the truth behind those words. After a moment Sarah's father spoke up.

"Did I ever tell you about when I met your mother?" Jack asked.

Sarah shook her head. Her father rarely talked about her mother and because of that Sarah herself knew very little about her other the fact she wasn't around to be in her life.

"It was because of a job," he said as if that fact was obvious.

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**35 years ago…**

"Andrew, Andrew Klein?" an officer behind him questioned.

Jack was literally screwed. If he turned around the policeman would surely recognize him as the same person who had conned half the neighborhood into buying musical items that would never really come. He also might recognize him from any of his other numerous jobs that he'd done that had landed him a photo inside police stations. Jack inwardly groaned and knew he should have skipped town earlier instead of coming to the store to stock up. Just as he was starting to prepare his speech for the officer a woman came running up to him.

"There you are!" she said as she threw her arms around him. "I've been looking all over for you."

Jack was now thoroughly confused as the girl continued to grab onto him as if she really had been looking everywhere for him. He slowly put him arms her as he figured anything was better than the eventual arrest that sure awaited him should he turn around.

"Thank you for finding him Officer," the girl began as she looked over Jack's shoulder to speak. "Logan here was helping me get a few things because I just wasn't feeling that well. You understand right?"

The policeman looked numbly at her as if the fact that she talked was a miracle to be witnessed. A moment or two went by with him continuing to gape at her before he spoke.

"Uh, yes of course," he stumbled. "How are you —"

"I'm fine," the woman replied with a small smile in return. "I actually have to get going so I think we'll be on our way Officer."

"Um, sure. Hey if you —"

But Jack didn't hear the rest of what the man said as the girl was already pulling his arm to lead him out of the store. The girl kept leading him away until Jack found himself in an abandoned side street a few blocks down. She finally let go of his arm and then leaned against a wall as if to catch her breath. He then turned to his savior as he wanted to figure out what exactly was going on.

"What was that about?" Jack asked. He honestly did not know what just happened but the fortunes must have been smiling on him if he got out of that jam.

The woman shrugged. "You looked like you could use the help."

Jack just stared at her silently and wondered if she knew how much trouble she had really saved him from.

"Come on we have to go," she said as she extended her hand.

"Go? Go where?" he asked once again confused.

"You," she said as she pointed at him for emphasis. "You are taking me out to dinner."

"I am, am I?" Jack joked. He knew he should be on his way out of town at this point but something about this girl was keeping him here.

"Yes, I mean it is least you could do as I saved you from what would have been years in a dark, dreary cell. Among other stuff…" she trailed off leaving his imagination to fill in the blanks.

Jack couldn't believe it. She knew this whole time and yet she was still standing before him. He knew now that he couldn't leave town even if he wanted to. Jack somehow felt obligated to do what this woman asked and he didn't know why. He told himself it was because she saved him back in the store but even he didn't necessarily believe that.

"Can I at least know your name?" he asked.

"Can I know yours?" she retorted.

Jack laughed and just gave her a look. "You can call me Jack."

"Jack?" she said dubiously.

"Think of it in terms of jack of all trades," he replied.

"A bit cocky are we?" she teased.

"Don't I get to know your name now?" Jack asked impatiently after she didn't say anything.

The girl shook her head and laughed. "Please if you think I'm going to give it to you after that answer then you should guess again. I'll tell you what; you can call me by my middle name Allison. Allie for short."

Jack smiled. "A pleasure to meet you Allison."

They then walked to a nearby, secluded restaurant. As they walked in it seemed as if everyone was staring at them or more specifically her. Allison didn't seem to notice or care as she just walked past everyone and found a table in the back to sit at. She sat with her back turned the others while Jack himself took the seat across from her.

"Why is everyone staring at us?" he asked.

"Do the glares bother you?" she asked amused.

"I obviously prefer not to be the center of attention given my profession," he confided.

"Don't worry, they are staring at me not you," she replied. She then reached in her purse and took out a cigarette.

"Haven't you heard those will kill you," Jack said.

Allison shrugged seeming indifferent to the whole thing. "I don't really care."

The waiter then came and took their order. After she left both of them were silent and the only sounds being made were the inhale and exhale of Allison's smoking.

"So what's your story?" he asked.

Allison evaluated him and Jack thought she was going to speak but she remained silent.

"Come on, don't you trust me?" he joked.

She paused for a moment as if seriously contemplating the matter. Her blue eyes seemed to pierce into his soul and finally she said in barely a whisper, "I trust you."

Her response took Jack by surprise. She seemed completely sincere in her answer and yet she didn't even know him. Something about her told him that not everyone was privileged enough to have her trust and yet she was giving it to him no questions asked. Jack was always good at reading people, it was one of his true talents, and yet this girl sitting across from him remained a mystery.

"Why do you trust me, you know I am a conman," he asked.

"Just because you're a con artist doesn't mean you're a bad person," she retorted.

"You know a lot of people would disagree with that backwards thinking," he told her; and it was the truth. No one really trusted him, and with good reason.

"When people look at you they see the tricks, the lies you create to hide the truth," she began. "I don't see that. I just see a lonely boy trying to escape."

Her words hit closer than he cared to admit. "You think I'm trying to escape?"

"It takes a runner to know one," she admitted.

"And what are you running from Allie?" Jack asked seriously now turning the tables back on her.

"I'm dying," she simply said.

Jack was not expecting that answer. He looked at her trying to gage whether or not she was being serious but she was turned away from him with a far off gaze in her eyes.

"What are you dying from?" he asked,

"Does it matter?" she asked. "What no 'I'm sorry' or any of the usual responses," she joked.

Jack was seeing her for the first time clearly. He could now see the pain she was masking and the brave face she was putting on to cover it. Whether or not the false bravado was for her sake or for those around her he didn't know.

"I don't think that's what you need. Plus I think you've had enough of that," he said quietly.

Allison just nodded in response. "That is what the staring is for. This is the first time I've been out in a long time."

Jack didn't know how to respond. He had never been in this situation before, so he decided it would be best to remain silent, waiting for her to continue.

"Anyway I finally convinced myself to get out. What is the point in dying if you aren't even living to begin with?" she asked to no one particular.

Jack finally realized why she intervened at the store. He was an escape, a distraction in order for her to forget everything else that was going on. Jack was the new thing in town that she could lose herself in before being forced to come back to face the harsh truth of reality.

He now also understood that he agreed to come to dinner for the same reasons. She was an escape for him, as with her he could forget everything too. He found himself reaching out perhaps as a sign of comfort or to let her know he understood, but soon his hand was on top of hers.

"You know I'm not the best person to be in a relationship. I might leave soon," she teased breaking the serious mood that had befallen over them.

"So might I," Jack joked back.

He then leaned over and kissed her, the first kiss of many to come. It wasn't a promise of a future; it was a promise to forget.

"You want to get out of here?" Jack asked even though their food hadn't even come.

"I'd love to," she replied.

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**Present Day Interlude**

"We left town that day together and didn't look back," her father said.

Sarah, who had been silent the whole time, continued to let her father talk as she knew the story was far from over.

"The next few months were some of the happiest of my life. Your mother was the first person to really see me and not the covers or aliases I had. We lived without worry and never thought about the future until one day we learned about you."

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**30 years ago…**

"You're pregnant," the doctor stated.

A few weeks ago Allison had not been feeling well and they both thought it was reality catching up to them. He finally had convinced her to go to the doctor in order to know for sure expecting the doctor to tell them both what little time she had left. Jack did not expect what the doctor had said.

"I know of your illness," the doctor delicately began. "I feel that I should tell you that there are experimental treatments for it and they look hopeful. They could give you more time, years and maybe even longer. However, in order to try any of them, the pregnancy would have to be terminated. I'll let you both talk it over."

With that the doctor left them both to ponder his words. Jack was the first to speak.

"You should do the treatment Allie," Jack said.

"What?" she asked as if didn't believe what she was hearing.

"Allie you could get years maybe even longer if you go through it," he stressed.

"No," she said shaking her head. "I'm going to have the baby."

Jack couldn't believe her. "Are you serious?"

"I'm not going to kill a life for the chance I _might_ have a longer one," Allie retorted.

"This is ridiculous," he exclaimed. "You are going to have a child just to leave it motherless the minute it's born."

Allison just glared back at him and raised her chin in defiance. "I accepted my fate long ago Jack."

"Please," Jack scoffed. "You know what I think? I think you are so scared of actually having to make something of your life that you balk at any opportunity that might make you better. You are using this child as an excuse to actually make something of yourself."

"Oh that's rich coming from you," she snapped. "You are so afraid of making anything real out of your life that you leave before anything has the chance to."

"You know I was fine before you came into my life," Jack yelled.

"Oh yeah Jack, a step away from jail is definitely what I consider fine," she retorted.

"I don't need this," he reeled.

"So what you're just going to leave?" Allison asked knowing full well where this was headed.

"I told you from the beginning that this wasn't permanent," he seethed. He knew that it was just is anger speaking now and that reason had left him long ago but he couldn't stop himself.

"I'm sick of being the guy you screw as a distraction from your own pathetic life," he said. "You say I'm the one running away but that is all you've done your whole life. You pretend to be okay with dying but we both know it is a façade. The truth is you are just as scared as the day you first found out."

Allison shook her head and turned to look at him full on. "You know just because I've accepted it doesn't mean you have to. It is okay to be angry," she said quietly.

Jack, however, didn't respond. He couldn't handle this anymore and turned to walk out the door.

"Goodbye Allie."

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**Present Day Interlude**

"I was gone for a long time," Jack claimed, he voice full of regret. "Your mother was right though, I wasn't prepared for what was to come. Without meaning to I quickly let your mother work her way into my life and the realization that she would be taken away from me just as fast affected me more than I expected. I didn't know what I thought leaving would accomplish. Maybe I thought if I tried hard enough I could forget her but that was never the case. It wasn't until the day that you were born that I finally came back to see her."

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**30 years ago and several months later…**

"I knew you'd come back," Allison spoke.

The man who had been waiting outside in the hallway finally came in. He looked at the new mother who looked pale and exhausted from the ordeal.

"Well you gave me one really good reason to come back," Jack said softly as he took his first look at his daughter.

"Jack, I'd like you to meet your daughter," she said as she handed back the baby to Jack.

The moment he started holding his daughter the world around him faded. The baby had the same eyes as her mother and seemed to look at him with same trust.

"Allie," he began. "I'm —"

"I know," she said and gave him a small reassuring smile.

He nodded and decided it was best not to dwell on the past so he changed the subject. "Does she have a name yet?" he asked.

"No," she started but then stopped.

It was probably for the best Jack thought. He didn't need to get more attached to a baby that most likely would never see him again.

"Jack," Allison hesitated. "I want you to take her."

"What?" Jack asked.

"I've thought about it and I don't want to give her up. I want her to know at least one of her parents," she said, the last part in a whisper.

"Allie," Jack began but was cutoff.

"Look I know what I'm doing. I trust you to take care of her and I know that if she is with you she'll be safe," she said.

Jack tried to protest but couldn't find the motivation to do so. He didn't think he could ever let go of his daughter.

"Promise me," Allison said the tears now flowing down her face.

"I promise," he whispered.

Allie gave a small smile and then held out her hands for her baby. Jack carefully handed her the child and then sat down next to her.

"Thank you," he said. "For everything. You reminded me what it is like to have someone there for me"

"How did a man without a name teach me how to feel again?" she joked. She looked down at their daughter who peering up at her smiling.

"Here take her," she said as she wiped away her tears. "You should probably leave now before someone recognizes you."

"Allie you can't possibly mean for me to take her now. You just had her," he exclaimed

"Jack we both know I'm not leaving this hospital bed. We knew this could happen and honestly I don't think I could handle it if you stayed. Please just do this for me," she pleaded. She kissed the baby's forehead one last time and then handed her out for Jack to take.

Jack tried to dissuade her but it was to no avail. He realized that she always had meant to do this part alone and in the end it was her, not him who was leaving. He took the baby from her who cried as if sensing something was wrong. Jack wished he could put into words all he wanted to say to her but he knew that he'd never be able to do that.

"Hey Jack," she choked out.

He turned around looking at her one last time. He wasn't holding back anything and didn't stop the tears from coming. She deserved to know what she meant to him.

"It's Lisa. My real name is Lisa."

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**Present Day…**

"A few months later I learned that she died," he lamented. "I tried to live up to my promise to her, to keep you safe but I wasn't ever as strong as her. Without her I fell into my old ways eventually dragging you into them with me."

"Dad—" Sarah started.

"No it is true and I'm sorry for letting you both down. Anyway what I had with your mother might have not been conventional but it was real. You have the same thing with Charlie. He is like your mother, always looking at person never their past," he said smiling.

He then took out his wallet and withdrew a photograph. "Here," he said. "This is a picture of your mom and I back then."

Sarah took the picture and looked at it. She saw a younger version of her father happier than she has ever known him to be. Beside him was a blonde, blue-eyed woman whose smile seemed to exude life. Sarah found herself tracing her mother with her finger and wondering how different her life would have been with different circumstances.

"She looks just like you," Jack said softly.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. Sarah didn't know if she was finally crying for her loss, her mother's bravery in a life that she didn't ask for, the stress of her own situation or a combination of all three.

"I just want you to be happy," Jack said. "I wanted you to know all the facts before making any decisions."

Sarah didn't know if he was talking about her in her current state or this future her that didn't exist at the moment. Maybe he thought she'd run and she couldn't blame him as she was half tempted to do it now.

"How bout I go see if they have any ice cream in the cafeteria. Who knows maybe they'll have Rocky Road?" Jack finally asked trying to lighted the mood.

Sara nodded and smiled and then watched her father leave the room. She took a shaky breath and walked to the bathroom. She turned on the sink and splashed some water on her face. Sarah thought back to her earlier conversation with Ellie once again. Ellie had made it seem that it was Sarah who was the rescuer but she now had the feeling that it was Chuck, not her, who was the one on the white horse. As Sarah looked in the mirror she couldn't help but wonder if she was even worthy of being saved and more so if she even wanted to.

A/N: So there it is. I tried to do something new with a story of Sarah's father and making a parallel between his relationship and the one Sarah has with Chuck. I hope you enjoyed it and sorry for the sad plot but this is how I had planned it. If you didn't like it then don't leave quite yet as a visit from a member of Team B is to come. Let's just say it starts with a C…yeah I know that was mean. Please review and if not for the story then for me as it was just my birthday. Also included is a reference to a musical, a reference to the actor who played Sarah's father and I believe someone will get the lucky privilege of being the 100th review. What do you get if you get these? Well I don't really know but let's find out together so guess away :D


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